


Why Won't You Just Let Me Go?

by Deang_Kast



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ghostly Watchers and Commentators, M/M, Self-Hatred, Will Add More Later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 08:07:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14131806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deang_Kast/pseuds/Deang_Kast
Summary: After the original events the happened in Altissia, Noctis begins to believe that everyone would be better off without him. So, he attempts to leave them behind. Of course, all his plans begin to go awry as soon as he tries.





	1. Leaving

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm trying to get back into writing and thought to try FFXV simply because I really hate the original ending. I'm going to try and update this about once a week but it depends on if I get busy with my own original piece as well. Right now, I'm stuck on it. So, I hope you all enjoy angst and depression because here we go lol. I promise it will get better though.

Noctis pushed forward, he could see a campground ahead and he needed to get them there before he lost his shit on Gladio. Forcing himself to ignore the pointed barbs his once friend continued to throw at him even as they made camp, he took out the cookware and ingredients for food.

He knew the other two couldn’t cook to save their lives and no way was he going to expect Ignis to do the work. He wouldn’t have minded just foregoing dinner but he wasn’t going to force that on the others. Best to feed them and let them get some rest. It would be best that way.

He chopped the vegetables as Ignis had shown him many times over the years, sometimes halting as pain sliced through him at the memories and the realization that this was just one more thing he’d taken from the man he loved.

He listened as the others talked amongst themselves. Gladio bitching to Prompto about how much of a dick Noctis was and Prompto humming in what Noct could only assume was agreement.

Once the vegetables were chopped finely, he pulled out a sea bass fillet and did the same.

“Noctis?” Ignis’ voice questioned from across the haven.

“Yeah?” The only one who could get him to speak would be the one to say something.

“What are you doing?” Noctis huffed to himself as he tossed the food into a sizzling pan.

“Cooking dinner, Specs. You need to eat.” He could hear the other two saying something but refused to listen. Probably something about him messing up that as well. It didn’t matter, really, he knew how bad of a screw up he was after all. “Don’t worry, Ignis, I promise not to fuck up too badly. You all should be able to eat it at least.”

A weary sigh escaped Ignis at his words and Noctis continued to make sure the food didn’t burn. Once it was finished, he plated it on three plates and handed it to them. He then turned and started cleaning up. Once he was done, he sat in his chair in front of the campfire, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Let them think he fell asleep, it would be best for all.

The camp fell quiet as the others ate. He could hear them shuffling around as they readied themselves for bed. He heard Ignis ask about him and Gladio’s answer about him being too weak to matter. He wouldn’t respond. It didn’t matter anyway. He was too weak. Too weak to save anyway. Too weak to make sure his loved ones remained unharmed but he wasn’t as selfish as Gladio seemed to think. He just needed to make sure they wouldn’t be harmed in this fools errand anymore. And Ignis. Gods, what he would give to make sure nothing ever hurt him again. They would all be better off without needing to deal with him. So he let them sleep and once he was sure of it, he removed their weapons from his armiger and set them where they could be easily found.

He took only enough supplies to make sure he could finish his mission and took off towards where the magic was pulling him. It was easy to lose himself to the magic and just let it take over. His weapons flew across beasts as he ran into them, easily removing them from his path. The tomb was close he could feel the pull of it pulsing in his blood as he got closer. All that remained in front of him was a Marlboro.

He swallowed and weighed his options. He’d faced down two gods, surely he could beat this beast. It was a nasty fight, but he finally prevailed. He used up the few supplies he’d brought with him but didn’t think anything of the spasms that wracked his body every few steps. Entering the tomb, he raised his hand over the weapon and summoned it to him. The pain that hit him as the ghost katana sliced through his chest caused him to pass out.

He woke to voices calling his name and an incessant chill causing him to shiver as he forced shaky muscles to stand.

“Guys, the door to the tomb is open. Do you suppose he’s been here and left already?” Noctis leaned back against the wall, willing them to leave without entering.

“There was only the one set of tracks, Prompto. If he’s already left, there’d been two.” Gladio’s voice answered, coming closer.

“Oh. You don’t think…”

“Do not finish that sentence, Prompto.” Ignis, and he sounded so angry that Noct trembled from trying to not run out into his arms. He’d always felt so safe there.

“Iggy, why do you think he left?” Noct must’ve been really sick because Prompto sounded so sad when he asked that question.

“I have a few guesses as to why.”

“Yeah, so want to share them?” Gladio, angry, always so fucking angry. He’d thought the guy would’ve been less angry with him gone.

“Perhaps he thought it best to go on alone.” Noct let out a sigh of relief, at least Ignis understood. His legs were shaking so much that he let himself fall to the ground. Hopefully, they hadn’t heard the splash as he sunk into the dirty water. If they found him, they’d feel like they needed to take care of him. They were good guys like that. Taking care of someone who was just a burden would be just like them.

“Best for who? He tired of being slowed down so he just leaves? Cause that’s what it seems like Iggy.” Noct shook his head in denial at the words.

“I highly doubt it was for himself Gladio. He blames himself for everything that has happened. Did you not know that? Most likely, he believes he is a burden to us, not the other way around. Better for us to be without him than him to cause us more problems.” Ignis ended his speech with a sigh and the others didn’t respond for a few minutes. Noct closed his eyes in relief that they finally understood and would leave now. He was colder now and slipping. That was okay, he needed to sleep, he was so tired.


	2. Let's Try This Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noctis wakes to hallucinations... or are they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I love Ignoct and probably will always ship them together. I went out to buy the Royal Edition today and am now having withdrawals because it's taking ssoooooooooooooooo long to download. Here's the next chapter, I hope you all enjoy.

He was warm. He tried to roll away from the heat but a band of steel had him locked in place. The more he struggled, the tighter it became.

“Son, please stop. You’ll make him think he isn’t needed.”

He knew that voice. But… wasn’t that voice extinguished now?

“King Regis, perhaps you should explain your presence to him. Hello, Noctis.”

Another voice, this one softer and more melodic, yet also dear to him. No, he was dreaming. If he opened his eyes, the voices would disappear, he just knew it.

“No, son, we won’t.”

“Your Majesty.” Ahh, yes, the voice of the father of the man who now absolutely despised him.

“He doesn’t despise you, Your Highness.” What would a ghost voice know? And how the hell did it know what he was thinking.

“Perhaps because you are speaking to us?” Luna, again. Gods, how he’d failed them all. All he’d ever wanted was to be enough to keep them all safe. To let no harm come to them. And yet, so many were now dead and Ignis, gods… Ignis was blind because of him.

“I’m sure your advisor does not blame you for what he did.” Whatever. All Noct needed to know how Ignis felt was to see how he flinched away whenever they were close. The man would never say he couldn’t stand Noctis anymore but it was obvious in his actions. That was okay though. He deserved it. Hell, he deserved so much more than that and once he stopped hallucinating voices from the dead, he’d get up from wherever the hell he was and continue on as he should’ve in the beginning.

Why had his Dad sent the other three with him? He should’ve just sent Noct off on his own. Now that he thought of it, him being useless was probably why he’d been sent away in the first place. If he’d been there, then the Chancellor would’ve had the perfect opportunity. Wouldn’t that have been better though? Everyone else would’ve been safe. Just let Ardyn kill him.

Oh.

Why hadn’t he thought of that before? Because he’d believed that he was worthy? What type of person actually thinks that? Another reason for the others to be done with him. Hell, he was sure tired of himself.

“I give up. Maybe we should speak to the others.”

“You may be right, Your Majesty. I do not believe we’ll be able to make him understand.” Understand what? That no matter what he did, the people he loved would die? No, he wasn’t going to let anyone one else die in his place. It was time for him to wake up and smell the sylleblossoms. The best way to end the misery of his friends and loved ones was to make sure they didn’t come with him. All he had to do was to make it to Gralea. He could feel the Crystal calling him there.

“Okay, all those times I told you that you were imagining how stubborn he was, forget them, old friend.”

“Right?”

“And please, don’t try to speak like the younger generation again. You are not your son. Hell, I would’ve stomped your ass if you acted the way he is right now.”

“And your muscle bound idiot is doing any better?” The sound of a slap and two very different sounding chuckles could be heard. Noctis opened his eyes, knowing that he wouldn’t possibly see the owners of the voices in his head.

There they stood though. Three figures outlined in blue just like the magic from the crystal. Luna, His father, and Clarus Amicitia. His eyes bounced between them as his mouth hung open in disbelief.

“B-but how?” He looked around him and saw he was back on the train, in one of the sleeping compartments. Oh, the band of steel holding him down was an arm. One that was deceptively slender when incased in long sleeved shirts as was the owners habit.

His eyes rounded as he realized that Ignis was laying shirtless against him on the bed. He was tempted to lift the blankets covering them to see more but then his gaze returned to his ghostly companions.

“It would seem that he is a bit shocked to see us and the situation he is in.” His father said quietly, like he wasn’t standing four feet from him as a freaking Ghost.

“Umm, I can’t imagine why.” This from Clarus.

“I believe it is more of the fact that the man he’s been in love with from most of his life is sleeping half naked beside him than the three of us.” Luna, the dear, dear woman supplied.

“Why are you three here? How am I here?’

“Well, son, I thought you already knew, but a little over twenty years ago, your mother and I..”

“Dad, stop, please!” Noctis covered his ears as he said this. He really didn’t want to think of that either. Once he saw his father click his mouth shut, he tried again. “Why are you three here? In this room? As Ghosts?”

“We did die, so we couldn’t be here any other way.” All three nodded to this answer and Noctis pinched his nose while closing his eyes. Patience, he needed patience. His Dad had always been much more of a smartass than the rest of the world had known and Noctis had loved knowing that tidbit that others hadn’t.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes to see three faces that looked like they were trying not to laugh at him.

“Okay, I remember leaving them and suddenly I wake up and here I am right back with them. How did that happen?” He thought over his words and hoped nothing could be flipped back on him.

“Ah, well, that was quite a stupid move, wasn’t it?” Clarus bluntly, asked him. The Shield of his father stared at him for a moment before continuing. “I know my son was being a bit of a….”

“He was being a dick, Clarus.” Regis said as he moved over to sit at the end of the bunk.

“Dad!” Noctis waved his hand toward Luna, who just laughed at him.

“What? She even said it. Do you really think she’s as prim and proper as she made out to be during public addresses? If so, she and Nyx wouldn’t have hooked up. That boy never was quite proper, unlike your young man there.”

Noct wondered if his face was as red as Luna’s seemed to be. Then he grinned as he thought over what his Dad had said.

“So, you and Nyx, hunh? I’m glad you were able to find someone.” Luna smiled back at him as she nodded, her eyes then moving over to glance at Ignis.

“And you? Have you told him?” They had had this conversation before many times. He shot Luna a look of disbelief that answered for him. “Of course you haven’t. Are you ever planning on telling him?”

“Why should I? I mean, think about it. This is Ignis we’re talking about. He’s not like other people. He’d probably agree simply because I’m Dad’s son.” Noctis warped out from under the tight arm that was holding him in place. “Or if he did feel the same way, he would reject me for the same reason. It doesn’t matter though.”

He dressed quickly as the others watched him without a word. Once again, he removed everything of his retinue and left them where nothing would harm Ignis when he got up.  He let his eyes rove over the beloved face before sighing. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Ignis’ forehead.

“Please, don’t follow this time. I couldn’t stand it if you were hurt even more than you are.” He whispered before standing and leaving the room. The train was moving and he was sure they would be stopping in Tenebrea soon.  Glancing in the next room, he saw Prompto still asleep but there was no sign of Gladio.

Great, at least there was only one he’d need to keep an eye out for. He just needed to be watchful until he got to the end of the car. Then he’d see if he could climb up to the top of the train. Probably not the safest thing to do but it was the best idea he could come up with at the moment. He’d think more once he got somewhere safe.

The problem came when he realized that the connection between cars were actually rooms that did not let the doors open. Oh, sure, he could’ve hit the emergency stop button and just gotten off the train but then the others would notice immediately. He needed them to not notice for a while. That way they couldn’t track him down again. He made his way through the train, stopping every now and then to hide from a patrolling Shield.

He ignored the talking figures that followed him. Apparently, he was the only one who could hear or see them as no one had freaked out upon seeing a dead king or oracle just strolling through. Hell, even Clarus was known the world over. His son had walked through him twice now though and nothing happened except Gladio stopping for a moment looking confused.

He made it to the car where they had stored the Regalia. He didn’t really understand why they had brought the car with them but hey, if it made the guys feel better, then it happened. Looking around, he noticed a hatch that he could climb up to and out of. Perfect. Once he was outside, he glanced around and pulled out the Ragnorak. Blue lights could have been seen if anyone had been looking out into the darkness. He warped until his body gave up and he slowly made his way to the nearest haven.  He’d continue on his way once he woke again.

“We should’ve told them.” Regis said as they watched his son sleep on the hard rock.

“We still could.” Clarus responded as he fretted over what to do with (what he considered to be) a suicidal King. “We can’t let this continue.”

“You two should trust more in his friends than you do. Do you truly believe they are going to allow him to leave them behind?” Luna asked as she knelt beside Noct’s head and ran her hand through his hair. “Ignis, if no one else will not allow him to go to his death so easily.”

“I pray you are right.”

“Trust me, Your Majesty.” She smiled at them both and they settled down to keep an eye on the wayward King as his body tried to rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments. They are like Lifeblood to me, especially the comments. They make me want to continue writing and let's me know whether what I've written is actually being well-received.


	3. Again??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis Pov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you all like this one. I hope I did Ignis justice but I'm not too sure and having to go without sight detail made it just a bit more difficult than I was expecting it to be.

 

As soon as he wakes, Ignis knows. The feeling of the magic is too far away. He sits up in the bed, moving his legs so his feet are firmly on the floor. He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to understand just what Noctis is thinking. He had hoped to wake before the other but apparently, he hadn’t.

He wasn’t sure at the moment how he felt about this development. To say, he wasn’t pleased would be an understatement. Sighing, he moved his hand above him to find the top bunk so he wouldn’t hit his head. Standing, he reached up to retrieve the shirt he had laying out for himself. His hand ran over that burns that were finally healing along his arm and he wondered if Noct had seen them. He certainly hoped not.

He’d never thought of himself as a vain man until after losing his sight to the ring. Although perhaps he should’ve thought things through. Maybe if he’d taken Ardyn up on his offer in order to plan a bit more accordingly. He hadn’t been thinking strategically though. No, he’d let himself become emotional over the threat to his King’s life.

He sighed as he finished dressing, moving his hand to a pants pocket where a certain object rested inside a handkerchief. It was still there, then. Good, now he just needed to make sure he kept it safe a bit longer.

Opening the compartment door, he touched his walking stick to the doorjamb and made his way out into the hallway.

“Ignis!” He winced at the loud expulsion of his name even as he turned toward the sound. “How’s Noct? Is he awake yet?”

“I suppose that he is considering that once again he is not with us.” He heard the loud hit against the wall behind him and sighed again. “There is no reason to punish property that does not belong to us, Gladio.”

“How can you be so calm about this, Iggy? I thought he meant more to you than this.” Gladio said, the ever-present anger making his words harsh.  Ignis shook his head and made his way through the car toward where the dining room was located. They’d been on the train long enough that he knew his way around quite well now. He wasn’t going to rise to the baiting Gladio was tossing at him.

“He is ever on my mind, as you well know.” He responded quietly, unwilling to utter the actual truth.

A snort accompanied the sound of Gladio quickly moving in front of him. Ignis stopped expecting the larger man to begin another confrontation.

“Don’t worry, Iggy. He’s just moving ahead to make sure no one messes with you. I think you’ve become his new target since Noct’s not here.” Prompto reassured from behind.

“Great. Just what I need, a giant behemoth trying to protect me. I’m sure I’ll come to understand Noct’s reticence shortly.” He responded dryly. Prompto giggled as he followed behind.

“Iggy?”

“Yes, Prompto?”

“Why do you really think he left?”  Ignis could hear the overwhelming insecurity from the younger man and he sighed. It seemed they were all suffering from that problem lately.

“Are you concerned that you are the reason he left?” The gasp from the blond told him that he’s hit the mark.

“I-I don’t know, m-maybe?” Ignis shock his head as he contemplated how to answer without hurting the other man’s feelings. Prompto touched his back and he stopped, well accustomed now that the way he was touched meant that someone was coming their way.

“I believe that everything that has been said about or toward him since Altissia did not help him in his decision. It is best that we all understand that Noctis believes that he is the problem here. That if he wasn’t around then no one would be suffering.” He knew that it wasn’t true yet he also had spent years learning the prince’s every mood and the reasons behind them. It had taken a few years after the accident when they were children to understand the new Noctis but he had come to terms with the fact that if anything bad happened then the other put the blame on himself. 

“So… in a way… the fact that I just hummed at Gladio when he’d talk shit about or to Noct pretty much told him that I was feeling the same way? Why would he think that? I mean... he knows that I…” Prompto’s stuttering response quieted as they made their way past a group of people into the dining car and found a seat.

“That is the way that he is. He has never believed that anyone wanted to be around him. I’m sure he even suspects that the only reason the three of us are with him is because of who he is.” He scoffed at the thought. Never once had he stayed with the Prince just because of his position and yet sometimes he would see that searching look that said Noctis wasn’t sure of him. He had seen it enough times over the years to know it. Every time it was aimed toward him though, broke his heart just a little more.

“You should tell him.” The voice startled him so much that he jumped. He’d know that voice anywhere but it wasn’t possible, was it?

“Ignis? What’s wrong?” Prompto was touching his arm as he spoke.

“What? Why do you ask that?” It must’ve been his subconscious taking on that voice.

“Umm, cause your face is really pale and your body is like shaking, dude.” He heard the confusion from Prompto but didn’t immediately reply. He was sure he’d actually heard that voice. But that just wasn’t possible. That would mean the King wasn’t dead and all of what they’d been doing was nothing more than….

“I’m sorry, Prompto, it seems that I may not be feeling up to being out of bed just yet. I believe I’ll go back and try to sleep a little more.” He practically knocked the younger man over as he stood.

“Y-yeah, okay, here let me help you out.” He suffered Prompto’s clumsy attempts to help without being too suffocating until they reached his sleeping compartment. “Just let me, ummm…”

“Prompto.” He said sternly.

“Uh, yeah?” He could hear the movement as the other tried to stand still but hands moved, a leather bracelet was shirted on a thin wrist and a head turned, looking all over the place, no doubt trying to escape a gaze that wasn’t even able to see him any longer.

“Stop and listen.” He waited until all notion of movement stopped before continuing. “I’m going to lay down for a bit. Why don’t you go keep Gladio company or something? I’ll be fine here.”

“O-okay, if you say so. I’ll see ya later then.”

“Yes, thank you Prompto.” He waited until he heard the blond leave and let out a pent-up breath. While it was sweet of the guy, Prompto could be a bit much when one wasn’t accustomed to such careful consideration.

“Ignis.” There it was again and it sounded so real.

“Majesty?” He questioned, unsure what was going on. Was it Ardyn trying to mess with his head like he had on the alter? Was he now pretending to be a dead King?

“Advisor, please do not worry. What you hear is real.” A quieter yet more arresting voice said as a chill entered the room.

“Gentiana?”

“Yes, Companion to the King, it is I. Do not worry yourself so much. What you sense is real, not an imposter. I will take my leave now.”

“Thank you.” A cold breath brushed his check and then it was gone, leaving him with whatever was going on.

“Ignis, I want you to know that he is safe for now. We will watch over him until you arrive.”

“Thank you, Majesty. Tell me, how is this possible? Why is he doing this? Is it because of what I did? Is he punishing me for trying to save him?” He heard what sounded like a sigh before a hand touched his shoulder, briefly squeezing.

“I should’ve known you would think that. You have done nothing wrong Ignis. He is trying to save everyone but perhaps you, most of all.” The pain that had settled in his chest since Noct had disappeared from the haven in Cartanica slowly began to lift at those words.

“Thank you,” he sighed, his head bowing slightly as he sat down on the bunk. “Perhaps if I’d tried harder, this wouldn’t have happened. If I’d defeated Ardyn…”

“No, Ignis. I promise he would much rather you lived than lose you as well.”

“Then why? Why was I allowed to use the ring if I wasn’t meant to die or defeat that monstrosity? I was willing to do anything I needed to ensure his safety. If they’d just…” He didn’t continue as he felt wetness on his checks.

“You know what is destined to happen.” Ignis nodded. “This is why you didn’t win, you let your emotions get the better of you and your fight with Ardyn was nothing but a furious fury that burnt out too quickly. Perhaps if you’d had time to strategically plan, you could’ve changed his future but no longer. You are going to lose him but please do not lose faith in him.”

“I would never.” The fact that no matter what he did now, wouldn’t help, made him shudder as a ripple of pain ran through him. Losing Noct would be losing everything. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive that.

“I must return to him now but remember that he is safe. I am sure you will find him soon.”

Ignis sat there thinking over what he’d learned. So, the King thought that nothing he did now would save Noctis, did he? Perhaps not, but he ran his hand down to his pocket to feel the small piece of jewelry there. There was nothing stopping him from planning and trying anyway though, now was there?

He spent the rest of that day and the next planning. The day they reached Tenebrae, he knew what he had to do and stopped his two companions as they all made to leave the train.

“Gentlemen, I feel we must make our way to Gralea still. We know that is where the crystal is and I can assure you that is where Noctis is going as well.” He waited for the arguments against his words.

“Yeah, Iggy, you’re right. We need to find the Princess and the crystal back. I’m with you. Been trying to figure out how to say it.” Gladio surprised him by saying.

Yeah guys, I agree with you but there’s something we need to talk about first. I’ve been having dreams and stuff and wanna run some things past you two. Can we like I don’t know, find a place to just rest and talk without anyone running off or getting mad or anything?”

“Of course, Prompto.” Ignis replied immediately while Gladio took a bit longer before agreeing as well.

 

 

******

 

“You lied to him?” Clarus asked as they followed Noctis.

“Well, I couldn’t very well tell him differently. Look what the man already sacrificed. Should he really be expected to die for what could be a fool’s errand?” Regis hated the thought. Ignis had always been there for his son but no one, not even a father could ask for more than already given.

“If someone had told him that I’m sure he would do it.” Luna replied from his other side. “Even blinded, you should not discount his willingness to save Noctis from everything he is destined for. Faith, gentlemen.” With those words, she moved closer to where Noctis was now getting ready to battle more daemons. The three surrounded Noctis in a way that he was able to fight but was unable to be harmed at all. Soon, they wouldn’t be able to do this, but for now they would do what they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I replied to someone about Ignis being angry in this chapter but I had to change that... Oops, please forgive me for that. 
> 
> Comments are always welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome.


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